I am a Bowflex owner.

I too, for 20 minutes a day 3 times a week will look like this guy. Really. I bought not only 300 pounds of pads and metal, but the marketing messages and 2am infomercials.

I’ve wanted one for years as I hate going to the gym. So I hunted for the best price, and this weekend spent lots o’ money at Costco when an Elite went on sale. Loading it into the back of my truck, I drove home knowing my fitness is forever improved.

Yet now I feel…a tinge of embarassment. Why? It is, after all, “America’s Favorite Home Gym” as the box declares. So surely I have many compatriots. But as I drove him, I was half hoping none of my new neighbors would notice it in the back, and once home, I rapidly moved it indoors.

I almost feel like because I succumbed to the infomercials, I should be ashamed as a marketer. That because I now own a home gym with an obscenely optimistic promise, I need to go buy those workout white/blue camo parachute pants and a muscle tee. Maybe grow a mullet.

I’m not sure how to feel. I’m glad I own it, but am embarrassed all the same. I will in any case use it, and use it regularly. I’d better or my wife will kill me.

After all, 20 minutes a day, 3 times a week is all I need.

I am a Bowflex owner. There, it’s out.